Conditional Angel
by Cherryflavoredsand
Summary: Sasuke dies, Sakura is alone with two kids and one on the way. She needs an angel and she gets one, but he turns out to be much more than she bargained for! GaaxSaku
1. Alone

Hey guys

Hey guys! Soooo sorry about not posting up the next chapters of my last stories (--)' There is always some kind of drama in my house, but I _promise_ to have some new chappies up **if** you review. Anyway I'm posting this up on the night before mah birthday and a great and rockin' awesome gift would be at least 20…or 10 reviews: anyway I know it's a bit morbid, but this idea's been in my head for the longest! Anyway here goes!

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Blue. Red. Blue. Red.

Those two colors flashed repeatedly on my ceiling that night. The sound of knocking rung in my ears, but I couldn't move. I knew what opening that door would lead to…

He didn't call; I had left him at the weaponry shop that night- he said he needed to work late. As I walked out of the shop I recall the haze of grey clouds, the torrent of violent wind billowing against my summer dress; my gaze wandered to the navy blue motorcycle that he'd ride home to me on everyday without fail. Except this time. I thought about giving him a ride, persisting in taking him with me until he'd relent, but I remembered that he liked his space, and to get him to ride with me would be a pointless task. As the clouds enclosed the city, I drove home awaiting the mere rain, that would soon turn my life into a storm.

The sound of footsteps awakened me from my reverie as I peeked out of my window at the awaiting policemen, not wanting to cause anymore disturbance, seeing as how a couple of neighbors began to turn on lights and look out of their doorway, I began the seemingly endless journey towards the mahogany door- the one that _he _hand carved. I began to smile at the memory of him hiding the rather large hand, compared to mine at least, full of splinters and other bruises that were suspiciously hammer shaped. As I reached for the brass doorknob I caught site of my hand, the one he clasped that night and asked to spend an eternity with me, the one he'd hold and gently caress whispering sweet nothings that now meant everything. With one twist of the wrist, it felt as if I was now exposed to everything the world could throw at me, and most times I could withstand everything it did- but not this.

Each word hit like a bullet straight to my slowly disappearing heart. My world began to spin faster, and the full realization of every acidic word melted through the barrier of love built by my husband. It was as if I heard everything, but I heard nothing. It was as if the police were mocking me, mocking my heart, In my mind I secretly hoped that this would be just a cruel joke, or a nightmare that I'd soon wake up from. But I guess when they say truth hurts, they forgot it kills also. I lost my heart that night. May 25, 2005.

This is how I continued through life… though one of my main reasons to live was now gone. This is the story of how I learned to find the gold in the ash…the diamond in the rough…love in the midst of heart ache. This is my story.

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Ok guys, originally this were to be a one-shot, but I had some awesome ideas in the middle of typing this. There will be a love lost, and a love gained. Problem is I don't know who was lost, who was gained, or who our protagonist is. (It has to be female)

My main Ideas will be generated off of your reviews, so please tell me if I should continue or quit, and please tell me your opinions on the protagonist, love gained and love lost.Thanks:!

Cherryblossom


	2. Alone Together

Hey guys sorry for the long wait, I had a lot of thinking to do referring as to where this story was going next

Hey guys sorry for the long wait, I had a lot of thinking to do referring as to where this story was going next. But now I have all my ideas straight so I really truly hope that you all enjoy my next few chapters! The love lost is Sasuke(sorry Sasu-fans!), the love gained is Gaara, and our protagonist is Sakura!! On with the story!

Chapter Review:

_As Sakura lays awake in her bed she can't shake the ominous feeling that something bad is going to happen (which she has had since she left her husband, Sasuke, at their weapon shop). So when she sees the flashes of police lights on her ceiling of their (two story house) she kinda already knows the news they have to bring her, but she really doesn't want to find out. On her way to the door, the simple things such as her hand or the door itself reminds her of the roles he's played throughout her life. Thew next few chapters, well you just have to see…_

New Chapter: The Eye of the storm

After I received the news, I soundlessly closed my door and sank to the hardwood floor immersed in my emotions and tears which flowed messily and freely down my face.

He had died. It seems the rain made it hard for Sasuke to see the road causing him to hydroplane on an oil skid just 5 miles from his house.

'_Five miles, just five more and he could've been home! Why?! Why did this happen to me? To us?!'_

She thought as she cradled her arms around the new life growing inside of her. She hadn't told him yet it was to be a surprise. Their third child, the new beginning since he left during her second pregnancy to work on a business deal with a guy named Orochimaru, but the deal went sour and he ended up coming home after the man died on an "accidental" plane crash.

'_The kids, God, how do I tell them that their dad is- is- dead.'_

At this thought the burn of tears quickly stung her eyes, but she silently shook them off and slowly made her way up the stairs to the children's room. Quietly, she opened the door to find two small children sunken deep into their covers without a care in the world- she hated to ruin that, but she knew that it must be done sooner than later.

With a small sigh she opened the door, the light from the hall flooded their room awakening the older of the two, Akuji, stirred slightly before opening his beautiful onyx eyes. _'Just like his dad…'_ I thought. I barely heard his footy covered feet approach me until he was close enough to tug on my dress and ask the dreaded question, "Where's daddy?"

With a short intake of breath I picked Akuji up and slowly descended the stairs to the large black leather couch often used for situations like these. I sat down placing him in my lap facing me; immediately upon facing me, he saw my cheeks, ruddy and damp from crying, eyes red from the constant torrent of tears that I had cried and undoubtedly would cry after this.

"Mommy what's wrong? Is baa-chan alright? Is this because I broke your watch? I'm sorry Mommy! Please, just please don't cry!" Akuji frantically pleaded.

"No, baby, you did nothing wrong, absolutely nothing. But sweetheart, um… _'how do I say this?' _..Akuji, Daddy's not coming home."

"What? Is he like on another business trip or something?"

"No, not like that I mean, Daddy's not coming home- ever again," I choked upon the next words that I'd say while looking at his innocent face twisted into a confused wreck, "What I mean to say is, Daddy had an accident, I'm sorry, Akuji, he didn't make it."

My heart shattered even more when his confused face turned slowly into one of realization, then utter despair.

I pulled him into my arms in a death grip, and together we mourned, his hands desperately began pounding against my chest to tell me it wasn't true.

All I could do was pull him into an even tighter grip, winding my fingers through his obsidian locks; it was all I could do, I felt helpless as my son slowly cried himself to sleep. Emotionally spent, I carried Akuji back to his room. I decided to tell Aya in the morning when I was fully able to withstand another bout of tears.

Closing their door, I went back to our room and immediately headed towards the closet, each shirt, nicely washed and pressed by hand lay before me. I searched for the red one, the one he said was his favorite.

Carefully, I fastened the shirt around his pillow and cried myself to sleep hugging my makeshift comfort; I couldn't rest my mind, but slowly and surely, drifted into my dreams, the only place I'll see him.

My last thought was, _'How am I supposed to live without no air?'_

Ok, I know this took a while, but I am supposed to be posting tomorrow. Anyway also, I know this story is a bit of a downer, but it's essential for the plot of this story! So please bear with me, this story's starting to get good, believe it! : Oh, and the last line of this chapter is going to do with the next chapter…guess what it is? Heads up, the beginning is her dream(In the next chappie).

Until next time!

Cherryblossom


	3. Searching

Hey people: I know this isn't my popular story and, in fact only one person reads it

Hey people: I know this isn't my popular story and, in fact only one person reads it. I'm going to keep posting, because I love where this is heading so far. Also, special thanks to my friend Jon! He is the only one who has reviewed….in less than 10 minutes of me posting.(O.O)Anyway, on with the story!

BTW This is after the funeral.

Chapter: suffocating

Over the past few days my house has been silent. No one speaks, no one cries except for the children- I can't, I have to stay strong for them. I feel guilty though, they have already lost their father, and now they're losing me too. Most days I have just lain awake in my bed. No food, just water. I just need to rest.

So here I am again today, lying awake in bed thinking, crying. It's ok to cry today, Naruto and Hinata, Sasuke's best friend, picked up Akuji and Aya for the next two days.

The funeral was yesterday, but the couple decided to stay to help us during our time of mourning.

Still afraid that someone would hear me crying, I turned on the radio and soon enough cried myself to sleep.

_I don't know how long it has been, but I finally woke up in the warm arms of…Sasuke? Before I could react, he me as if to kiss me, my eyes fluttered closed as I waited for his lips,but it never came and all that was there was air. I opened my eyes to see that I was on a dock, the one we got married at in the middle of the lake at his old house._(a/n remember the one he practiced fire style jutsu on?_) Soon however, the dock began to change into nothing and I found myself sinking into the water with no escape, Sasuke was just above the surface, but I just couldn't reach! I couldn't get air, I was drowning, the sound of Akuji and Aya's voices filled my ears but were soon drowned out by a song. _

'_What was it again? I used to sing it with Sasuke…Oh! "No Air"!'_

_Soon the constriction of my lungs became too much and I let the darkness surround me._

__

'Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air'

_The darkness slowly morphed into a small room, not overly crowding, but it held enough space for two people. Looking further into the room, I saw the same midnight hair that I longed for, the pale skin my hands longed to touch; Sasuke stood before me, like he always had whenever he'd come home late nights. To my surprise and comfort, I was soon engulfed in a hug just as real and warm as the ones we had shared when he was alive. It felt so real almost too real, Sasuke_

"_Am I dead?"_

_Silence greeted me until I heard a muted,_

"_No."_

"_But I thought I was dead or at least dying because after I lost you it felt as if my world had lost its air; I thought I had died in my sleep."_

_Sasuke suddenly got full force back in his voice and replied," I wait in this room alone, I don't want to leave without you by my side, my heart is incomplete. But I also can't fully go on until I know you've moved on. Please try to understand, you need to move on."_

_I could feel the horror mix in with fear and sadness in my voice. "But how do you expect me to live alone with just me? Because my world revolved around you it's so hard for me to even breathe without you! Tell me how am I supposed to move on? I lost you just 2 days ago damn it! Whenever you aren't there…It's like I've been pulled out into the deep end, and how am I gonna be with out you?!" _

_Tears started to pour out of my eyes as the franticness in my voice began to increase. Sasuke's hand slowly lifted my chin as I cried._

"_When I was living, I'd jump, run, or even fly to you defying gravity to go to you. Somehow you've got to stay alive inside, I may have taken your breath but please survive. I don't know how or even care, but you have to for the others- for the kids."_

"_But how do expect me to? How could you?_

With a faint kiss, he said, "I don't know, but you have to or you'll die…either that or turn gray early." He added on with a slight chuckle, I couldn't help but smile at his comment as he faded into nothing, and there I was, in a room by myself, but I left feeling like I could breathe again.

_I knew that something good was coming…or someone. Suddenly, I felt a small hand upon my shoulder as reality invaded my senses. Slowly I opened my eyes to find myself staring at the smaller version of myself Aya, and next to her Akuji. To their surprise, for the first time in days, I cracked a smile that earned a gasp from both of them._

_Shyly, Aya asked," Mommy, are you ok?"_

_And with a small slightly content smile I pulled both kids into my arms and said,_

"_I will be, sweetheart, I will be…"_

_Ok guys, I hope this is longer! Oh and I haven't been doing my disclaimer! Sorry! I do not own Naruto!_

_Please review?!_

_Cherry_


	4. Finding

Hello dear few readers

Hello dear few readers!! And to my Anon, Sakur, I will continue writing Porcelain on your behalf, and since(well I believe) my skills have improved, the story shall become a lot better: Tempest…and, guess what? NEW CHARACTERS!!( well from the show at least)

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This feels great! Today was the first time I stepped into Sasuke's weaponry shop, Sharingan, it looked so different without him, so empty. Again, I am alone, Hinata and Naruto-kun have Aya and Akuji except this time, the kids went on a two day trip to Osaka to visit my mother.

The shiny hardwood floor's echo was the only sound heard as I explored deeper into the store. Today I was reopening it, though many said it was too soon, this was the best way to heal.

As Sasuke said, I need to move on for the kids and not let anxiety kill me. With that goal in mind, I tied on my apron, and moved to a pile of unfinished weapons that needed sharpening, with the rev of the machine I began the tedious task of sharpening every weapon to perfection- just like he used to…

'I have been here for at least three hours now'

I thought as I glanced up at the clock. 4:00 pm it read,' Hmm, I may need to close down for today in order to have enough time to shower and get to the hospital on time'. "Ouch!!" 'Kuso!' As soon as I got my attention back to the shuriken I was sharpening it cut my forefinger deeply.

'Great, looks like I'm in for stitches.'

It wasn't until then did a deep voice almost as quiet as a whisper and smooth as velvet say,' Be careful, Pinky, I still need you to fix this for me and I can't have you bleeding on it." Slightly frustrated and startled by the sudden comment and cut I had received; I immediately cut off the machine and spun around intending to give the person a piece of my mind.

Except, when I spun around, the words I had intended to say fled my mouth at just the sight of two sea-foam eyes resting within a pale complexion which was made more pronounced by thick blood-red hair that stood out messily but surprisingly looked great on him. His appearance was completed with a glare that was seemingly etched into his otherwise statuesque face.

Suddenly a moist wet object was sucking on my hand, thus drawing me out of my thoughts to see the same man sucking on my injured finger! 'Who does he think he is?! Waltz up into my store, mock me, then demand work of me, then suck my finger?!'

I stared at him for a few moments afterward…'He's sucking on it like the blood is honey or something, gosh, talk about blood lust!' when he didn't stop I coughed to interrupt the meal he made of my finger.

"Um, two things to ask you. A.) What was _that_? B.) What is your name?

After a moment, he smoothly stated," My name is Kazekage Sabaku No Gaara, it was mere instinct to stop the bleeding. What is your name Pinky?"

He spoke so swiftly and smoothly, I barely heard him ask the question. "Oh, sorry, he he, I'm Haruno Sakura, new owner of this weaponry shop!" I tried to put a joyful emphasis on the "new" part of the sentence.

He seem to have noticed the struggle with the word because he asked the following question I had dreaded anyone would ask.

"What happened to the previous owner?" He asked looking slightly disinterested.

"Oh, well, my husband, he was in a motorcycle accident…"

"Really? Oh, so when will he recuperate because he and I have business plans to talk out."

'Agh! Why is this man torturing me so? I had just gotten in a good mood!' "Gaara- san, regretfully I tell you that he won't recuperate anytime soon because he passed just a few days ago." Surprisingly, that didn't feel as hard to say around him as it had around other people.

I looked into his eyes to see what reaction he'd have, pity? Sadness? Non- caring? Yet when I looked up at him I was surprised to feel the impact of soft lips on mine as I found myself pressed into the work table behind me.

'What is going on?! I tell him my husband died a few days ago and he kisses me?'

A quickly as it began, his lips left mine but I was still pinned to the wall- strangely enough I didn't feel threatened, it felt almost natural….what was worse…I liked it.

He looked me straight in the eye this time with so much passion and purpose. Before I could form the questions jumbled in my head, he began speaking to me answering everything I wanted answered and more.

As for what I heard next, I never expected it, but this definitely just turned my life upside down.

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Okay, I know it's sudden, but I had a great twist I just thought of! And for those wondering, yes the kiss had a meaning, no they're not in love, blah blah:

But Here's this chapter. I don/'t know how many have read this story, but it would really help if you would leave at least a small reviw?

Well, until next time!

Ja Ne

Cherryflavoredsand


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